This is my Secret Weapon…
I’m not embarrassed to tell you what it is, but I do realize, you might not understand what I mean, so I’m going to lay it out there and then I’ll explain myself.
Falling in love is my secret weapon.
I don’t know if you can tell, but we are taught (both through conditioning and actual experiences) to be afraid of one another and to believe that one another is dangerous to us, especially if we are vulnerable. We are made to believe that people are really scary and getting scarier. That we can’t trust anyone and that everyone has an agenda. We are taught to look for the good ones, and to be careful because there aren’t enough good ones. At least, these were the messages that were imbued in my cultural upbringing.
What if all of that is all wrong? What if most people are good? What if most bad people aren’t as bad as you think they are? What if…every one of us has a divine center…and if we are awakened to it, if we are made aware of it, we will light up the world around us?
Isn’t that exactly what is true?
When I work with people, I walk with them through the fires of their life. I’m there for the ‘will I or won’t I make it through this’ moments. With me, the guts are inside out and I’m watching the humanity of all of them unfold. Because I create the conditions for their emergence, they do emerge and they are actually, simply, radically, human.
Flawed. Imperfect. Selfish. Self-Absorbed. Funny. Sweet. Wise. Weary.
People are all of it. And yes they are difficult. But that is the fun of loving people. It’s a challenge to love each other, especially when we are taught how to hate.
Eventually, over time, if the conditions are right, and they keep showing up, I fall in love with everything about them. The selfishness, the self-absorption, their quirks, their flaws, their chronic pettiness, it’s freaking adorable. Because they are who they are and that is actually the point.
To be what we are, to be that which is human and flawed and scared but remembering to love again—that is the entire plot. To witness this is to fall in love with the opportunity to remember the plot, and fix the stories I write.
If you had my job, you’d fall in love too. If you knew these humans and you really saw them, like I see them, you’d be so delighted. It would restore your faith in humanity! You would become, dare I say—fearless of your fellow man.
And if you don’t have my job, if you can’t imagine how I can be so brazen with my love, if it all sounds a bit…kooky…well, call me kooky, because if loving is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
One thing that I would never have guessed, is that when you do this work, and you fall in love with all the humans you meet, you fall in love with yourself. Over and over again, in all different ways. Through working with Max, I fell in love with my humor and my self-aware narcissism. With Bec, I fell in love with my relentless desire to explore consciousness. With Wanda, I fell in love with my emotional variety. With Jessica, I fell in love with my no-bullshit meter and my truth telling ways. With Shelly, I fell in love with my inner power. With Lauren, I fell in love with my crushing vulnerability. With Steve, I fell in love with my inner wilderness.
So I guess now you really know. I’m in love with myself. I’m in love with everyone. I’m a freaking lover and I am a lover because I truly can’t help it. And it’s my secret weapon because NOTHING works like loving does.
Love is presence. And an unflinching witness to everything. Love simply says, “okay” when everything is laid bare. Love is the great alchemist and the only thing that’s actually real. To fall in love with everyone you meet is to be free from the fear of others and of yourself.
Marianne Williamson says that loving is like looking for the innocence.
My invitation to you is simple. Look for the innocence in each other. Assume the innocence is there. Be a safe person for everyone you meet, which will naturally invite their innocence forward. And when you see that puddle inside, that shiny iridescent puddle of divinity, keep looking, then let go, and you are in love with the infinite in each of us…and it’s amazing.