Calling all Truth Tellers…

You know who you are. You can’t help it. You speak truth. You are truth. In the spaces you arrive in, there you go being honest. Am I right?

Maybe you enjoy being the spicy, and you delight in bringing the mirror of truth to the room. (been there)

Maybe you wish you could keep your mouth shut, and just belong with ease. (been there too)

Maybe you have found a path of discernment and you have learned to say less and less. (working here now)

Still, just being you seems to pull truth to the surface.

I get you. I am that too. A teller of truth. A running-of-the-mouth-realness has been a part of my style for…ever. Lately, I am practicing silence and discernment. I can tell you, it doesn’t change a whole lot. Truth is a vibration. And it is felt.

If you are a truth teller, you already know…you can’t help it. 

You really can’t. It’s what you are. It’s what you do. It’s how you speak. It’s how you see the world. It’s just your nature to do the truth telling thing.

And yet, it’s difficult, isn’t it?

Truth tellers don’t feel a sense of belonging in the spaces and places where truth is not welcome. We want to belong. We want to be known. To be seen.

We work so hard to come to our understanding, it breaks our hearts to feel so misunderstood. 

One time, I was in a heated conflict with my dad, a fellow truth teller. I was angry at him for telling my truth to people who didn’t ask and couldn’t hear it. As I raised my voice in frustration I heard myself say, “you can’t help it!” And him in response, so emphatically, so honestly… “I can’t help it!” 

In spite of my anger towards him, his honesty disarmed me.

It’s true. If you are a truth teller, you can’t help it.

But here’s what we can do about it.

We can realize what is happening. We can acknowledge that we are on board the truth train. And there are many stops. 

Okay, so you are on the truth train. But you didn’t buy a ticket. Do you get that? You didn’t wake up one day and say, I’m going to trigger people with my self-seeking honesty. You are born a truth teller. The toltec tradition calls this, the Grief Bearer. And apparently, there’s one in every generation. We just feel all the things, okay. We can’t help it. If we name it, it breathes. If we don’t, we suffocate.

So we are on the truth train and this journey down the tracks of truth will take us home. We just know it. So we ride this train into our hearts.

The first stop along the tracks (maybe there are several stops like this) is the place where people get hurt. Truth tellers hurt people with the truth. Not all truth hurts, but it usually does. Truth tellers learn this the hard way because truth doesn’t hurt truth tellers. It feels righteous. So how would we know it’s unwelcome? 

Another moment of learning for me. I had recently understood this about myself, my truth telling spirit. And I said to my husband “I can’t help it, I’m a truth teller (said with pride and indignation)!” And he said something to me so poignant and true. He gently said, “did it ever occur to you, that not everyone wants to know the truth?”

To which I replied, honestly (sheepishly)…”not really.” 

So this is the first stop. We tell our truth and people feel hurt and harmed. And this surprises us. We didn’t know. 

Once, I was under the influence of some magical mushrooms and my psyche decided to show me all of the ways that I had harmed people by being honest. I cried a lot. And these words fell from my lips in a repeating chorus…

“I’m sorry (said with deep regret), and I’m not sorry (said with fierce conviction) and, I can’t help it (said with so much grief).”

I suppose this is the journey. We wish we could belong and not trigger. But we aren’t willing to give up our truth to belong. We can’t. We’d suffocate from the weight of it.

The next stop, oof, it’s a tough one. People leave. They get the frick off your train! They say goodbye and they explore the beaches and the souvenir shops along the store fronts of the ego-ic world. They would rather be comfortable than honest. To each their own. I probably would if I could.

Oh it’s painful. Losing fans. Losing family. Losing lovers. Losing friends. Yet, you find out, when the fire burns wildly through your life, that some surprisingly steady oak trees withstand the flames. You sort of realize, losing people who can’t hear you, can’t know you, don’t want to…well…it’s really just the idea of loss that hurts. The reality of losing what you never had is surprisingly, relieving.

Bless them. Those that don’t want you and your truth telling ways. It’s not personal. It really isn’t. They love you. They just can’t deal with your wholeness. It’s not about you at all. It’s about resonance and vibration, and this just doesn’t work anymore. And they must get off the train.

The next stop, on the truth telling train…thank goodness… is incredible….if you keep riding the train. If you keep seeking truth. If you keep seeking to know yourself. What you know, what you find…is you. You in your whole, full, realized, actualized, authentic self-expression. And it’s amazing.

Because its the truest truth. And it’s holy. And sacred. 

And worth the ride. 

You have found yourself. And it’s so worth it. You are at home inside. In peace. Joy. Radiance. And no-one is there with you. You are all that you are. And it’s incredible.

Truth tellers know this. Seeking the truth works for us. It’s how we find our way home. It’s how we find our wholeness. It’s how we find our spiritual, sacred, holy center. And it’s our journey. We didn’t buy the ticket, but we are willing to ride the train. Because it’s happening. And we can’t help it. We are what we are. And it’s more than enough.

Want to meet some truth tellers? I’m building healing collectives for you!